yourbusstop.com - luvvie's rant 4

My First Gaelic Football Match.

Boss says, "Scrote, I got a job for you tommorow, bunch of lads going to a football match in
Belfast, OK". I take our 55 seater coach to, just before the passengers are due to arrive I pop
in a Spar shop and there's lads buying as much booze as they can carry and me standing
behind them in the queue while they hide it in rucksacks.

On they get, up the road we go, the boozing begins. Piss stop, piss stop, another piss stop,
middle of Belfast, piss stop, West Belfast (completely lost now in a dodgy housing estate)
brief piss stop. Then I find the stadium, there is a big space right outside as we are early
(speed limiter all the way). Two guys in hi viz vests go "park here, we will keep an eye on it".
Exellent, off I go for a hair cut.

The boys all pop in the boozer and later I am thirsty "oh, I will pop in and get a soft drink, see the lads"(bad idea). They all start
singing "Hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver. Hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver". All of a sudden i'm sitting in the
middle of it with 50 lads cheering me on, they've just bought me 10 fresh looovely cold pints of lager, and 2 tall glasses of triple
whiskies with ice.

"Hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver"
"I cant lads, I cant," I whine to them as they egg me on. Then all of a sudden stupidity and bravado take hold, I nail 2 pints and a
glass of whisky while others in the pub look on in horror. Oh bollocks, what have I done! Next minute we are in the game, they pick
me up, my brains numb, i'm crowd surfing for half an hour. They're winning at half time. I am starting to sober up and I manage to
sneak away to eat some food. About an hour later the game ends, but no-one gets on the coach! Another hour passes and I decide
that the lads must have gone back to the pub. Eventually I manage to find all 45 of them, they are starting rows with the locals
(being from Dublin they were shouting "AT LEAST WE AINT BRITISH" which isn't going down well). Finally everyone's on the coach,
except we can't move, there are bottles and glasses everywhere. I grab 6 bin liners and fill them to the top and chuck them on the
pavement, then I floor it outta there before there's any trouble.

Back towards Dublin, they're screaming now, running, singing and wailing. They have got the microphone so its just about gonna
snap off. 3 piss stops so far. When we reach the border toll, they put the microphone into the toll booth and made the girl, who was
sexy, sing a song before we would pay her. Now there are roadworks and they want a piss stop. We pull in and another bus pulls in
behind us (this was a service bus with a drunk and disorderly passenger, the driver had contacted Police to meet him at the border).
All of a sudden two police cars and a police van pull up, but its too late, I have opened the door. All the lads pour out, drunk, half
naked, screaming, urinating, rolling down the embankment, play fighting and messing. The Gardai dont want to know, fortunately for
me, they attempt to usher them on, look at me in disbelief, then drive off.

I'm so glad the coach isn't marked, we get back to Dublin. I get a big tip but the boss was not impressed mind, I left it for him to
clean, he filled 16 bin liners and said it was the worst he'd seen a coach in 50 years running a bus company. Another coach driver,
who's son unknown to me was one of the lads, came up to me and said "heard you had a good time saturday".